his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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