New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
