she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize