But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
