He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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