Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
