And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
