she looked like the before picture.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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