Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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