He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
