Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
