I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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