drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have demons in me.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
