We need to rekindle our bromance
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
