I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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