WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
