remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
