hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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