she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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