8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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