I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
