its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
