Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
