we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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