just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
