Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
