terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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