put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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