10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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