Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
