Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
