Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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