the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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