tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
