Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
