Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
