I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
