I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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