im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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