So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
