I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
