Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
