I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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