I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
a search helicopter?!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
