It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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