What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
