this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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