I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize