32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
