I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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