I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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