her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
