My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
