We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
