dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize