Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
