So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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