Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
