Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize